Into the Wild
by Dryad Fall
Summary: In the days following his escape from the Newborn Army, Fred learns something about himself that changes his entire existence. Can someone bring him back?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

June 16th, 2006

It was in Riley Park when it hit him, quite literally.

He was waiting as promised for Bree, though he knew she wouldn't find Diego. He could understand though. After months of being around the other newborns, you tried to hold onto the ones you thought you could trust, the ones that let you still feel a bit human.

He'd already waited past the 24 hours he had given her, hoping against hope that she had made it. He knew he felt protective of her. He had watched over her all those months before she even realized that he was really doing it. Not that it was in an attracted manner; she tickled a human memory of another, younger girl. She didn't look anything like his sister, Susie, but they had a lot of the same traits. They both loved to read more than anything. Hated to talk, were shy and rather sweet. It didn't surprise him that he felt the need to protect her in that house of lunatics.

He was sitting on a stone bench at the base of a tree, looking out through the grey mist at Mountain View Cemetery. It was in the center of the Riley Park neighborhood, with far fewer humans to avoid than at the more popular Queen Elizabeth Park down the street. He was staring out blankly at the horizon when a gust of wind changed his entire eternity.

The front page of the Vancouver Sun blew into the brush near him, then fluttered and caught on his leg.

_Ferry Sunk! No Survivors!_

Fred of course knew exactly what had happened, and out of boredom, read on to see what the humans had made of it. It wasn't until he got to the list of casualties that he saw it.

_Susan Burch_

A flood of memories surrounded him.

A pimple faced boy at the door, and a very timid blonde behind him with a dress he couldn't believe his parents allowed her to wear.

Sitting in the passenger seat with his heart in his throat, seeing exactly how close you could get to a stop sign and not actually hitting it, with the same shy, long haired blonde in the driver's seat.

Lounging on the couch late at night, watching Monty Python, with her in their dad's chair, wearing fuzzy socks, flannel pants and a band t-shirt, her hair in a sloppy ponytail laughing hysterically calling out in a very bad British accent, 'a spanking! a spanking!'

His little sister.

God. What was she doing on the ferry? Maybe shopping or visiting in Vancouver, and on her way back. What he wouldn't have given for her not to be there. What if...what if he was the one to kill her? He grimaced in a deep, gut wretching pain. No wonder his 'special talent' was to repel people.

He repelled himself.

After hours of stillness, the mist turned into rain, and the sky darkened. Ever so carefully, he folded the paper, and put it in his jean pocket. He stood up looking out toward the mountains in the distance.

_Never again._ And he ran.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_The insatiable thirst for everything which lies beyond, and which life reveals, is the most living proof of our immortality._  
-Charles Baudelaire

January 16th, 2007

_So thirsty. So very thirsty..._

In the beginning he had the strength, and he ran. He ran far and fast, away from humanity, afraid of its siren call, afraid for the first time of what he had become. In his human life, he had always been the dependable sort, the type that kept to his promises. So to promise Susie that he would never again...well, he simply would; only he didn't know how. The first day, he used his repulsing power whenever he scented a human, but after the second day, he no longer sensed a human nearby.

He ran north, then northwest, knowing the farther north, the less people he would likely encounter. After all, its not like the cold bothered him as it did humans. He felt a shimmer of remorse for leaving Riley Park without Bree, hoping she was okay, but pretty sure she too, was gone.

Fred had a pretty good idea that Riley and his maker had kept a pretty tight rein on all of them because there were rules. He chuckled humorlessly at the thought of vampire police, but hell if he wanted to find out the hard way. He felt angry then, that they weren't told the rules. Course, that would mean they'd have to own up to the load of horseshit they'd been given about the fight. _Only certain days of the year, my ass,_ he thought to himself. He figured that, but very cautiously tested it out on the first sunny day he was free. (though, it wouldn't be fair to say, he would've been upset to have just toasted up like a roasted marshmallow if he'd been wrong). He wondered what else they'd lied about. If it weren't for the human temptation, he might have considered finding those other vampires. After all, if they were against his maker, they couldn't be ALL bad, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that.

He rather suspected that the fight was contrived, and had nothing whatsoever to do with territory. They weren't created to hold onto territory; after all, the more vampires created, the more they had to share. It's not like any of those idiots he'd had to exist with would consider such things. Except perhaps Bree. Then he thought about what Riley had said, that the other vampire coven had a human pet. Something in his head struck him that the word pet didn't fit, and was another piece of Riley's subterfuge.

But the thought intrigued him. Vampires who obviously had learned to control their thirst around humans. If nothing else, it gave him hope. Perhaps he too, could have some semblance of a life, and somehow atone for his mistakes.

Which is why he was currently hiding out in the wilds of Alaska, in the middle of nowhere, and not even a whiff of human scent to stray past his nose in those 6 months. It was a blessing and a curse. He had seen his eyes turn black in the reflection he could catch in ice. and the THIRST...he was concerned he was going to lose his mind, but he didn't care. He had nothing left anyway. He couldn't return to his grieving parents, didn't have Bree to care for. He had nothing BUT thirst. It reminded him he still existed.

Fred looked out over the frozen landscape from the mountainside. He sat in the soft snow, leaning against a fir tree catching the sparkle of his skin as the sun broke through the pine boughs. The quiet almost echoed, nearly a sound in itself, like being wrapped in batting. His mouth felt like cotton, and he couldn't get a mouthful of venom if his life depended on it. His throat no longer burned, it _sang_, begging for blood. Had he still be human, it would've encompassed his entire being, but being a vampire meant there was far more room for mental wandering in his head.

He used the time, once again, to think back to that night, when his sister died. He tried carefully to consider each of his victims from that night, but the feeding frenzy was upon him, and the glut of human destruction made it difficult for even a vampire to remember each detail. He couldn't remember seeing his sister; he would've noticed, certainly. But did he feed off a blonde? That was the question that had him try to carefully recreate each victim from that night. His body tensed as if to cry, even knowing that he couldn't. He'd been trying for six months, and still he couldn't be _quite_ certain.

What he wouldn't do for something, anything that would take his mind off the thirst. A book, a frontal lobotomy, anything. Someone to talk to. Someone who could explain to him what to do, how to avoid being the stuff of nightmares, if such a thing was possible. If not, then perhaps they would have the secret to ending his existence.

At least, if he DID die, he'd already spent his time in purgatory. He took a deep breath of the frigid, crisp air hoping it would kill some of the burn in his throat. It didn't, but it didn't stop him from trying.

He knew he was weakening. He just wasn't sure if a vampire could kill himself that way, or if he would simply put himself one level closer to the fires of his personal hell.

The thirst and the quiet. He thought of writing a poem about it. He played with words in his head, laughing self-derogatorily at himself, and then stiffened. The tone of the quiet changed. Animals avoided him like the predator he was, so he had become accustomed to the deep, muffled quiet of snowy solitude. But he heard something, and then smelled the faint scent of another vampire. He sent out a strong pulse of repulsion before wondering if vampires can lose touch with reality like humans can.

He settled back into the snow bank against the tree, and once again ran the events at the ferry through his head.

_Fuck! What was that?_ Tanya thought to herself. A sudden burst of nausea ran through her body, as though she'd tried to consume human food. Her stone muscles contracted in her stomach, tried to purge the invisible food, causing her to fall to her knees. She could smell the vampire, knew it was there, but could also tell that it was weak, starving even. She had to assume it didn't want help, but she was still concerned. A starving vampire was an out of control vampire. Quickly, she found her feet, and sprinted home to share the information of their visitor with her family.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_''Tis safer to be that which we destroy__  
__Than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy_.'- Lady Macbeth

January 17, 2007

Tanya ran swiftly through the gloam, up and down the steep, shadowy hillsides, and through the dark pine forests heading west toward her home. As she ran, she considered what she had learned, and realized it was next to nothing. She wasn't even sure what sex the vampire was, which was highly frustrating. To not even be able to get within sight of them worried her. Did the Volturi get a new member, sent to punish her family for standing with the Cullen's a few weeks ago? It was bad enough her dear sister was taken away from them.

The Volturi were not known to allow those who stood against them to remain alive. Everyone there knew it was not beyond their duplicitous nature to wait until they could divide and conquer. This thought frankly scared almost more than meeting them face to face in Washington. A sword of Damocles hanging over them all, for the Volturi, and Caius especially, had long memories, and vengeful souls. She picked up her speed, and rushed to make it to the comfortable cabin she shared with her family. She bounded up the darkened steps to the large porch and pulled the heavy oak door open.

Tanya looked around to make sure her family was there, breathing deep to control her panic. While she couldn't see Kate or her newest family member, Garrett, she found Eleazar and Carmen in the sunken living room in front of the immense stone fireplace that was already flickering brightly. Tanya stopped at the top step and spoke as the couple turned their heads, "Eleazar? Have you ever seen a vampire with repulsing abilities?"

Eleazar looked thoughtfully over Carmen's head from where the two of them were cuddled on a wide leather sofa. "How do you mean? Physically push you away? We have known a few to be able to do that."

Tanya grimaced. "I wish. The closer I came, the more I felt like my guts wanted to erupt from my mouth. I haven't felt that bad since I attempted to eat caviar."

Remembering that particular incident, Eleazar grimaced. "That's an incredibly unusual gift. It makes me wonder how it manifested in their human form, but no, can't say as I have. Seems to be useful enough for them though-it kept you away."

Tanya whispered, "Can we be certain that it isn't someone the Volturi sent to check on us, or worse? Don't you find the timing suspect?"

Before Eleazar could answer, she suddenly realized something and even more quietly, added, "Only thing is, whoever it is, they're starving, Eleazar. I could sense how weak they were. I wouldn't want anyone to suffer, but more importantly, they are a danger."

Kate walked in, followed by Garrett. "Who's dangerous?" The two new lovebirds flopped down together at the opposite end of the couch.

"A vampire to the east of us. Although, I couldn't get close enough to meet or even see whoever it was. What I wouldn't do for Edward to be here." The last bit was practically muttered, even as Tanya struggled to hide a grimace at the obvious joy Kate was exuding. Not that she begrudged her sister, but she despised being the odd woman out, and made her miss Irina even more. Mentally shaking herself out of her self pity, she caught back up to the conversation that Eleazar had repeated to her sister and mate.

"Well, why not?" Kate asked.

Tanya shook her blonde hair and looked at her sister. "Why not what?"

"Have Edward come up?"

Before Tanya could even stutter, Eleazar spoke up. "Having Bella here might be a good idea as well. With her ability, she might be the only one to get close enough to this vampire to speak with them. I don't see why she shouldn't be able to walk right up to them."

"And the little one can come to see me!" Carmen nearly sang with a wide smile. We all knew how close Carmen had gotten to Reneesme and no one could fault her excitement.

Tanya even while murmuring agreement, ranted in her head, _great another devoted couple in love to have to hang around._

Tanya tried to shake the melancholy surrounding her. She was fortunate to have such a loving family that could put up with her self-absorption. Certainly, they were all still reeling from the loss of Irina, but she had been with her the longest. And while Kate had Garrett to distract her, she had no such distractions, no one to lean on. It just highlighted how truly _alone_ she was. It was slowly driving her mad.

_You would think after a millennia and a half, I'd have found my mate_. Her family gave her her space, knowing that she was having more trouble dealing with the loss of Irina and her lack of a mate. She felt the weight of the two couples sympathetic stares, showing they knew exactly what she was thinking.

Unable to deal with the polite silence, She pulled out her cell and dialed Edward's number.

She put the phone on speaker, and after explaining, let Eleazar explain what he knew.

"You say felt you felt like throwing up, Tanya?" Edward's voice came through, a note of thoughtfulness that didn't seem to fit the conversation.

"Yes, Why?"

"It's just, I think I know who the vampire is. If it is, its not anyone we need to worry about. Actually, I think it might be someone we might be able to help, so we'll be up in a few days, Tanya. Do you want anyone besides Bella and I?"

"I don't know, if this is who you think it might be, do you think anyone else should come?"

There was a swift moment of silence, before Edward responded. "Let me talk to Carlisle and see. But Bella, Reneesme and I will be there at least."

Tanya heaved a sigh, "probably the werewolf too, right?"

Edward chuckled. "Do you honestly think Reneesme would go without him? We'll see you soon. Call if you have any more information."

"We will."

Tanya clicked her phone closed, and tossed it on a nearby end table.

"So what do we do now?" she looked at her family.

Eleazer smirked. "we wait."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us_.

- Nietzsche

January 20, 2007

It had been three long days since Fred thought that maybe he had caught the scent of another vampire. Long enough to argue with himself about whether he had actually smelled it, and if he hadn't, whether he was indeed losing his mind. Was it even possible for a vampire to lose their mind? The second idea that crossed his now cavernous mind was _You idiot! You just said you would've done anything for company, for someone who might be able to help you._

Yes, he felt foolish. He knew intellectually that it was just an instinctual reaction to protect himself while he was weak but that didn't mean that he wished he hadn't had better control. He raked his hand through his blonde hair in a gesture he did a thousand times as a human. He thought cautiously though. For all he knew, Riley tracked him down and had plans on destroying him as Fred knew he had done to Diego. Riley didn't like his minions being to smart. It's why he kept his head low and his mouth shut. Or perhaps those vampire cops he was pretty sure existed were after him, because who knows what rules he, or his creators, broke that he didn't know about.

He knew he didn't have the energy to chase after whoever it was, or the ability to track their scent through the falling snow. Between the fact that the snow and wind shifted the scent making it hard to follow, he knew he didn't have the energy it would take to chase...or run away if necessary.

And lets face it, it was January in Alaska. No self respecting man-draining vampire would be caught dead up here. There was simply no food. Heck, there was hardly human food, much less vampire food. Which meant if he HAD smelled a vampire, it was highly unlikely that they had a regular diet and he just blew his best chance to get some of his nagging, hopeless questions answered.

He laid flat in the snow, feeling the soft crystalline flakes cradle his rock hard body. He smiled softly, thinking of making snow angels with his sister on family visits to the mountains. He looked up through the pine boughs and snow to the winter black sky. He let his mind wander on the patterns he could see, first seeing a dragon with its maw open, then what looked like a swan. Spaces between the boughs made for a long curved neck, and the needles fanning out like upswept wings. From behind, he could see the graceful swirls of green and red that flickered in the sky. Fred snorted at the fanciful thoughts, just content that for a few blessed moments, he wasn't fixated on his sister's gory demise.

The sound of a distant vehicle was quickly moving in toward the cabin deep in the snow covered forest. An anxious Tanya strode out along her front porch. She was pacing forcefully enough that the long, heavy icicles that decorated the porch eves came shattering down into the snowdrifts built up around the porch's rails. The newer looking silver four wheel drive (Tanya never understood the Cullen's fascination with vehicles when running generally worked faster.) slid easily in front of the cabin.

Before anyone could utter a word, Carmen flew out the door to the car, calling excitedly, "¿_Donde esta mi preciosa_?" Tanya's newest cousin, whom she'd only admit to being envious of in the deepest, dustiest corners of her mind, gracefully rose up from the passenger side of the car and reached out for Carmen.

"It's so lovely to see you again, Carmen! Reneesme was so excited to come see you." Tanya watched as Bella enveloped Carmen in a firm hug and then turned to open the back car door. Much as Tanya was in awe of the _меньшее чудо,_ Reneesme's thumping heart simply reminded her of all that she had lost. She caught Edward's slight grimace and with a sigh, slipped back into the house. She utterly despised having to share her darkest thoughts.

Tanya stepped to the wide mantle over the stone fireplace and pressed her forehead to the smooth wood, her fingers clenching the edge on either side. She took a deep breath in an attempt to swallow her panic and silently thanked the fact that not all the Cullens came. It was bad enough with Edward reading her thoughts, but Jasper feeling her complete despair would have destroyed her. It wasn't the child's fault. She knew that. They were _family_ and she simply needed...she needed...well, frankly, she didn't know anymore, but she would not let her desolation get in the way of everyone else's joy, or the true reason they were up here at all. Someone needed their help, or they needed to reconsider the Volturi. In either case, it was not the time to fall apart. Another deep breath had her lifting her head.

"I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I'm here to listen if you want to talk," Edward said softly. Tanya startled, so deep in her mind, she didn't sense her cousin come up to her. He silently placed his hand on her shoulder in support.

Tanya stiffened, feeling herself falling apart and thinking that throwing herself into his arms would not be appreciated. She took a cautious step back and with a whispered, "I'm sorry," sprinted out the back door. As she flew to the tree line, she could hear Edward's soft reply, "I am too."

She ran. She ran without thought, without direction. Even so, she knew she couldn't outrun the pain she had been pushing away. It all fell into her, feeling so close to her original burning so many years ago, she cried out. She fell to her knees, shrieking out her pain like a wounded animal. Her sister, her best friend, who loved so well, but not so smartly. Her beautiful, adoring mother who only ever wanted to be a mother.

Then there was the sad parade of soulless encounters with men and vampires alike, and each one making her feel more and more empty even as she bragged out loud of her conquests, her abilities, her _appetite_. All the while, she knew deep in her lifeless heart it was nothing but a way to temporarily fill the emptiness inside. And still, none of it mattered.

She rested her head in the soft snow, her arms wrapping around her stomach in a sad attempt to hold herself together and sobbing even louder when she realized there wasn't anything left to hold together.

A striking display of the Aurora's affects writhed and twisted across the sky was the only witness to her complete collapse.

It was many hours before she was aware of herself again.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"_Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves_. "

-Henry David Thoreau

Bella looked around the room at her extended family. Eleazar and Carmen sat together on a loveseat close to the fireplace, while Kate sat in Garrett's lap in an overstuffed chair. The cold did not bother her as it once had as a human, but the warmth from the fire was welcome nonetheless.

Reneesme was currently tucked in under a veritable mountain of quilts, though it took Carmen a number of stories about her home in Spain before she had finally settled to sleep. Edward was currently outside on the porch, ostensibly waiting for Tanya, but Bella knew better. She had heard the exchange, and knew her husband was once again blaming himself for her sudden breakdown. In all honesty, Bella was surprised she had lasted this long.

She knew how Edward had felt being the only odd one out in the Cullen family for so long. And she knew how long Irina and Tanya were sisters. They might not be mates, but she couldn't imagine a much closer bond. For example, she had always felt that if she had been able to keep close to Alice during the time Edward had left her, she might not have lost all those months in her own mind. Certainly, she would've been depressed, upset, and hurt, but she liked to think that with Alice's help, she could have kept it together.

That being said, she had only been friends with Alice for a few months when Edward had left; she couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose Alice after more than a millennia.

Noticing how quiet it was, she looked around again, and saw how everyone was paired up. She had always been cautious of Tanya, but she couldn't help thinking that neither family could really help her right now. She choked back a laugh when she heard Emmett's voice in her head laughingly suggesting that he should start personals for vampires. Sometimes she wondered about herself.

Eleazar looked up thoughtfully from where he was running his fingers through Carmen's luxurious, dark hair. "If she has not returned by the morning, we should go out after her."

Garrett nodded. "There's a fine line between giving space and not being caring."

Bella looked thoughtfully at the men. "I know you called us because of this mysterious vampire, but honestly, I'm really worried about Tanya." She looked around again. "I'm not sure if our presence is a good thing for her." She heard Edward shift out on the porch.

Silence fell over the room again. No one could really disagree with the statement, but everyone felt powerless to help Tanya. Only time could help her now. Fortunately, time was something every vampire had in abundance.

Tanya pulled herself up in the shadowy light of a late dawn. She rubbed her venom-encrusted eyes and looked blearily out across the frozen expanse. Slowly, she lifted her body from the kneeling position she had held all through the night. The light wasn't very bright, it was January in Alaska after all. The grey of the sky melded with the grey of the snow, matching her mood, or lack of. The pain had receded and left her with a chasm of emptiness inside, but she could deal with that. Anything was better than the feelings she fought all night. She looked at the only color on the horizon, a copse of trees in the distance and realized where she ran.

Her mystery visitor.

She tilted her head slightly, considering attempting to see the vampire again before realizing it was foolhardy. Better to face the family, and have Edward and Bella come and speak with them. With a deep sigh, she turned and loped home.

She wasn't in any hurry to face her family.

As she ran, through the trees, she heard a herd of reindeer scraping their hooves through the snow in search of lichen for their own breakfast. _Being over-emotional takes a lot out of you,_ she thought to herself before changing her course.

A large buck reindeer later and she felt a bit more centered. She walked the last mile back to the cabin, thinking toward Edward. _I'm sorry, Edward. It's not you or Bella or Reneesme, it's me. I promise, I won't fall apart again. It just all added up. I'll be there in a few minutes._

As she finished these thoughts she reached the top of the ridge overlooking the house. She could just make out Edward's form waiting for her on the front porch.

She mentally shook herself, and drawing up her willowy frame, walked the last bit to the house. Edward nodded to her, but didn't say anything. The door swung open, and she could see the rest of her family waiting for her.

"Hi." She murmured it quietly, a bit raspily after all the crying the night before. Everyone's concerned eyes turned toward her.

"I'm sorry I worried everyone. I don't know if I'm okay, but I am under control...can we just leave it at that for now?" Her voice pleaded with them to not push the issue.

They all nodded slowly, understanding the careful balance she was holding. Eleazar pointed to the large kitchen table. "We pulled out the map of the area...can you show us where this vampire is holed up?"

She smiled thankfully at her brother. She led the others to the table, speaking over her shoulder. "You know the copse over near the reindeers' spring calving grounds?" she leaned over the table, and tapped an area on the map.

Garrett looked over Tanya's shoulder. "Nice. Judging by the contour lines, the copse is just at the bottom of a ridge line. Nothing can get to their back, and a wide open field before." He looked at the men. "This would be the place to be if the Volturi ever decided to come back for a visit. Its very defensible."

Bella looked thoughtful, nibbling on her bottom lip. "Do we think this was on purpose, or just dumb luck?"

Edward sighed, and pulled his arms around his wife. "Guys, I really don't think its the Volturi. I know we're worried, and while I agree, it's not over, I refuse to live in fear until they decide to do something. You said whoever it is is weak, and could make you feel nauseous. Well, here's the thing. When we fought the newborns, the girl we tried to save? She knew one of us was a mind reader. It's how we knew the Volturi were involved with that as well. One of her coven friends didn't think what they were doing was too straightforward and took off. She only came to the fight to look for her mate." He paused and looked around the table. "The girl, Bree, told me in her mind to be nice to Fred, and that we'd know him because his special talent is to protect himself by making undesirables sick when they even so much as look at him." Now Edward's umber stare focused on Eleazar. "You say you've never heard of it before, and gifts don't present themselves the same way twice, right?"

Eleazar's smile brightened. "I see what you mean. Indeed, considering we know of such a talent, and how close we are to where we know he was born, it certainly makes sense."

Bella hmphed. "Well, while you guys pat yourselves on the back, don't you think we should put the poor vampire out of his misery?" She stopped at the wide eyed looks she was getting from the others. "Oh, for goodness sake, not kill him! He's weak and alone. Why would a vampire run away to a place with no people guys?"

She looked around the room, waiting for the penny to drop. Blank faces looked back at her.

"Tanya, will you lead me? I'm anxious to see if my theory is right."

Tanya smiled hesitantly back at her newest cousin, slowly coming to the same conclusion as Bella.

"Race ya!" as she dove out the door.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl: it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling. -Henry David Thoreau_

Bella gave her husband's hand a quick squeeze, saw that Renesmee was safe in Carmen's arms, and started to rush out the opened door after Tanya. She reconsidered, reached into the fridge, and took one of Renesmee's thermoses out with her. "Just in case."

Bella raced after Tanya, following her scent at first. She almost laughed seeing the fun-loving side of her new cousin that others had spoke of, but she had never had the opportunity to witness.

She caught up quickly with the willowy blonde, still having some of her newborn strength. They paced side by side, the cold air rushing past their ears, and the sun reflecting off the snow in a mirror to the reflections off their skin.

As they flew up a rise, Bella could see a large open expanse before her, a mountain rising in the distance.

"Do you see that small group of trees, about eleven o'clock?" Tanya pointed slightly left from where they stopped.

"Yeah. That's where he is?"

"I was about halfway across the field when I got hit with his power." Tanya focused on the group of trees. "Edward would kill me if I just let you go though. Let's look around a bit, see if we catch any other scents."

Though Bella was relatively certain it was safe, and she wanted to help him, she agreed that it would be the smart thing to do. They quickly made a loop, making sure to stay far enough away to keep from triggering his awareness. Feeling relatively safe, as there were no other scents beyond a few stray rabbits and the Denali clan themselves, Bella began to move forward. Tanya cautiously followed Bella until she was just shy of where the vampire's power made her ill. Bella paused, uncertain of why the blonde stopped until Tanya said, "Been there, and DON'T want to feel that again. I'll wait here until you give the all clear."

Fred could sense someone coming close to his hiding place. He fought the protective instinct to send out a pulse, but he was honestly just happy that someone was willing to try after the first time. He rested his head back against the tree, and waited. It didn't take long before he heard a mellifluous voice calling out. "Fred, Fred, is that you? Are you here? Please don't be alarmed, we're friends."

_Fred? What the fuck?_ the blond vampire thought to himself._ How did they know his name? Friends? _He didn't have any friends who were alive. He figured he could let them a bit closer, close enough to see them. If he felt in danger, he could really let them have it, and hopefully, they'd leave him be.

"How do you know my name?" he called out cautiously.

"Oh, thank goodness! We had hoped that it was you. Bree asked us to watch for you." The voice was coming through the trees.

"Bree? You know her? Where is she?" he called to the soft-spoken vampire hopefully.

"Can I come closer? I suspect you have a lot of questions." A small statured girl came around a large larch pine. Her wavy brown hair moved loosely in the slight breeze, blowing her scent to him for the first time.

"Wait. You smell...familiar."

The girl smiled. "I'm not surprised. Last you had my scent, I was human. I was the bait and reward for the newborns you were with."

Fred stilled to stone. She looked innocent enough, but she must be dangerous. Why else would they search him out? He closed his eyes, and sent out a pulse. He took a deep breath, still smelling her scent. Baffled, he opened his eyes, to see empathetic eyes gazing back.

"I promise, Fred, I won't hurt you. Like you, I have a power. Other's mental powers don't affect me. It's why I'm the one here. We were afraid none of us could get close enough to speak with you otherwise." She moved slowly closer and squatted down. "Now, before we get to far, I have to ask you something." She looked sadly at him.

He stared back sullenly.

Very quietly, so quietly a human wouldn't have heard her gentle words, "Fred, why aren't you feeding?"

He glared at her, mutinously keeping his mouth closed. He clenched his fists and sent out the largest pulse he was capable of. When she just sat there, looking at him compassionately, he whispered, "I won't kill another human. Ever. I promised."

He could see the venom rising in the soft-spoken woman's oddly colored golden eyes. "Fred, you don't have to." He watched her pull out a silver thermos with caution. She opened the top, and he could smell the blood...but...blood?

She smiled at his confusion. "Our family agrees with you; we don't want to hurt humans. This is animal blood. Grizzly bear, to be specific. Predatory animals taste better than herbivores, but any animal will do." She carefully handed him the stainless steel thermos. He took it warily, sniffing at the contents. He decided that if she'd wanted to do him in, there would be easier ways to accomplish it. He took a sip and moaned as the tortured feeling receded. He could taste the slight bitterness in the back, much like hops in beer. He looked at his petite savior, and guzzled the rest of the thermos.

"It's not enough, I know, but we need to get you fed enough so that you can hunt on your own. We can help you better if you come back with us."

"Us? there are others with you?"

"Only Tanya. She is the one who found you. Her family has a permanent residence a bit to the west of here. There are more friends there. We can help you if you're still too weak."

"You'll answer my questions?" he responded guardedly.

"As well as I am able. And there are others that can answer even more than I can. We will understand if once you get your strength you want to move on, but please let us help you." He looked thoughtfully at her upon hearing the wistful tone in her voice.

"Why are you so determined to help me?" he asked confusedly. The vampires in his world didn't want to help others and were generally very self absorbed.

"Vampires who are interested in our diet are few and far between. It's not the easiest thing to stick to. And Bree..." She looked down at her fingers that tangled themselves in her lap.

"She's gone, isn't she?" he whispered.

"We tried, Fred. She had surrendered. The Cullens had said that they would take responsibility for her. She knew my husband, my mate, is a mind-reader, and told him through her thoughts what the fight was really about. Before the Volturi killed her, she told Edward about you, and asked us to be nice to you. It is the least we can do for her."

_Volturi? Cullens?_ He was more confused than ever.

"I know, it's a lot to take in. I promise we'll go into more detail, but really, the sooner we get more blood into you, the better you'll feel."

He nodded with a small smile. "Okay, but one more question."

Her smile brightened, making him blink slightly at the peaceful nature emanating from her.

"What is your name?" he asked sardonically.

She giggled, the sound echoing in the hollow like fairy bells. "Bella. Bella Cullen." With an even brighter smile, she grasped the thermos in one hand and his hand in the other, pulling him up to his wobbly feet.

"I promise, I'm stronger than I look. Go ahead and lean on me."

He smiled at that thought, knowing she meant more than just her shoulder. And he considered, just perhaps, God did answer some prayers.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"_I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." _-Douglas Adams

Tanya stood in the middle of the field, listening carefully for any sound, any suggestion of what was happening. Bella had been gone a while and Tanya could only hope this was good news. If his power had worked on her, she would've been back much sooner. She stared intently at the evergreens that hid them from view.

She stared hard on the spot where Bella had disappeared into the trees, just for something to focus on, to keep her thoughts at bay. It didn't work exactly, but she was able to keep the gnawing loneliness from consuming her.

Her senses perked when she saw Bella's petite, dark haired shape emerge from the thick boughs. Stumbling and quite obviously leaning heavily on her, was probably one of the most gorgeous creatures Tanya ever laid eyes on. Even from this distance, she could see the wide breadth of his shoulders, and bright blonde hair that was similar in style to Edward's- uncontrollable, longer...and sexy. He was quite tall, judging by how much his body was bending as he leaned forward against Bella.

Suddenly ashamed at how she was staring, she loped to Bella's side.

"You look like you could use some help." She looked shyly through her eyelashes at the vampire.

"Thank you for coming back to me."

Her face brightened when she heard him, almost reminding her what it was like to blush. She tried not to read much in that statement, but was lost in his scent—bay and the clear, crisp smell of ocean breeze. She inhaled deeply, and smiled in response. "Let's get you some sustenance." She looked past the blond vampire to focus on her cousin. "Bella, did you bring your cell phone? We should call the others to let them know we're on our way."

"I didn't. I hadn't thought it would work out here."

Tanya sighed. "You're probably right. I've never tried from here. I suspect Edward will know when we're a mile or two away anyway."

Together, the women moved quickly back to the cabin, each supporting the weakened man between them. Tanya considered just carrying him, but assumed that it might offend him; Machismo followed vampire men from their human lives. Emmett being a perfect, if extreme example.

The group moved quickly through the snow, light reflecting off the women's skin, and only twinkling off Fred's weakened as he was. It was with a bit of relief that they saw the cabin with its chimney smoking in the distance.

"We're nearly there, Fred," Tanya murmured, her arm wrapped around his marble waist.

They could see a number of vampires come to the porch as Edward let them know they were coming in. Tanya thought to her cousin that Fred would need some sustenance, and she could see Eleazar and Kate run off in the direction of the local herd. A sincere thought of thanks, and a verbal explanation to the two at her side was all it took for Edward to meet them from the house.

"Fred, this is my cousin, Edward, Bella's...What do you call him, Bella? Your husband? Your mate?"

A dip of her head let Tanya know that were she still human, she'd be blushing furiously, "He's my everything."

Edward grinned, while Tanya made hacking sounds. "Ugh! Who needs Fred around? You two are enough to gag anyone!" she laughed. Fred gave a hoarse chuckle.

"You need more blood, Fred," Edward spoke sympathetically. "My cousins, Eleazar and Kate have both gone to uh...cull the herds," he finished with a bit of a smirk.

Bella tightened her arm around the waist of the blond, adding support, "You're still too weak to hunt on your own." She turned her head to look at the ashen man and in an additional, quieter voice, she whispered, "Remember what I said. Predators taste better. Herbivores are more plentiful...but..." her grimace finished the statement for her.

"Do you want to talk before or after you feed, Fred? We can wait, if it would be easier for you to concentrate, and they should be back soon," Tanya added quietly. She had had periods where she didn't feed before, and remembered how hard it was to keep your thoughts straight. In all honesty, she was surprised at how well he was holding up.

That was until he collapsed to his knees, even their combined vampire speed unable to keep him upright.

"Well, I guess that answered that," Tanya responded sadly. "Best to just wait out here then, till Eleazar and Kate come back." She paused for only a moment, unsure, before sliding down next to him, and letting his head fall into her lap as she began to stroke his hair like a child's. A raspy but contented purr arose from the man. Tanya just smiled.


	8. Chapter 7

_Attractiveness and magnetism of man's personality is the result of his inner radiance._-Yajur Veda

Fred felt as though he were dreaming. Falling into his own swirling thoughts, he felt gentle fingers stroke through his surely dirty hair in a slow, gentle rhythm. He breathed deep, taking in the scent of wood smoke and cinnamon, and something else indescribably feminine. He nuzzled his head against the firm thighs, as though to burrow into the comfort he found. He stilled suddenly, realizing what it was, or rather to whom he was actually being so intimate with. The hand in his hair continued the same soft rhythm, silently telling him it was okay so he relaxed. Never had he felt quite so peaceful.

It was then he scented blood. Bitter-a slight memory of a green liquor came to mind. While one part of his mind struggled to bring forward the human memory, the other became ravenous in its need to feed. He felt his muscle memory jerk, trying to bring him to a crouch, but his body was simply too weak to move and refused to follow the nerves commands.

Obviously, his new friends knew this as well. The carcass of a large caribou dropped inches from his face, its neck newly broken. He leaned forward, his body still lying on the ground, as his face buried in the thick fur of the animal's neck. His teeth made short work of the skin, and he took his first pull of the warm blood. The bitterness and sharp herby flavor matched the smell. He sighed softly, both from the relief the blood brought, and the soft stroking that had yet to stop. After a few more pulls, he remembered the alcohol-Absinthe-that he had once drunk in France. He smiled slightly, happy to have regained that memory. It was something that reminded him he wasn't always a monster.

He could do this.

Fred drained the one caribou and sat up, only to notice that a second was brought to him. A softly murmured "Thank you," and another carcass-draining a few moments later had him feeling almost normal.

He noticed the group of vampires, now surrounding him, smiling brilliantly at him. He knew he should feel threatened, but he didn't. He only felt peaceful and welcomed.

"Fred," Bella spoke up, waving her hand at his appearance. "I know you're itching to have your questions answered. But, do you think you might feel better after a shower and a change of clean clothes?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and Bella chuckled, "Come on, with vampire speed, it shouldn't take any time at all. Surely you can hold off a _few_ minutes!"

The group chuckled at the surprised look and following self-conscious grin on Fred's face. "Um, yeah. Living in the wild for nearly a year will do that to ya."

Tanya gracefully stood up and reached out a hand, "Here, I'll show you the way."

He grasped her hand, and felt a jolt. Confused, he rose to his feet, and followed the curvaceous blonde into the cabin.

Tanya looked back at the tall blond following her. She tried not to pant after him, but it _had_ been a while. He was absolutely gorgeous. Already, she got the feeling his pull was something more than most of her previous conquests.

That nearly stopped her in her tracks. _Conquest?_ No, strangely, that wasn't how she saw him. She pushed _that_ thought to the _far_ back of her brain, unwilling to even consider such a thing right now.

She continued to lead him upstairs, to the bathroom. She walked in, and pulled clean towels out of the cabinet and set them on the vanity.

"Just drop your clothes outside the door; I'll throw them in the laundry. I'll bring by some of Garrett's clothes. He's the closest to your size. Feel free to use anything in the shower."

Fred nodded, a bit dazed, and she smiled. He really was endearing.

He walked past her into the room, and started to pull off his worn t shirt. He got as far as the buttons on his pants, before Tanya awoke from her reverie, and dashed out the door. She felt, rather than heard the rumble of a chuckle through the door.

She raced to Kate and Garrett's room, and grabbed a pair of boxers, jeans, and a flannel shirt to bring back to Fred. She heard the shower running, and, with her eyes closed, stepped inside. She placed the clothes on top of the towels. She heard a sudden sound and whirled around, her eyes popping open in case of danger.

She couldn't see _him_, but oh, what she did see. Through the frosted glass, she could make out his outline; strong thighs, obscenely wide shoulders, and biceps that, while not at body builder stage, just begged to hold someone. If she looked close, she could see the water droplets on his broad chest.

_Oh, my, God and all the angels of heaven._

In other circumstances, Tanya would have dropped the clothes, and joined the luscious example of maleness currently residing in her personal bathroom. Instead, Tanya felt the heat in her face, even if she didn't actually blush. She grabbed the dirty clothes and brought them down to the laundry, running as though the devil himself was following her.

She stopped in the laundry room , taking deep, unnecessary breaths. She pulled his clothes to her face, breathing deep the bay, sea salt smell of her guest, and feeling like a complete pervert. She fought to focus and get his clothes in the wash. By habit, she checked the pockets, only to find a tattered newspaper clipping. Cautiously unfolding the nearly tissue-like paper, she read, "_Ferry__ Sunk! No Survivors!"_ and saw a long list of names.

Since it was the only thing he carried with him, it was obviously very important. Carefully, she put it aside. There was more going on here than what was on the surface. She sincerely hoped that Fred would answer just as many questions as he asked.

She tried to ignore exactly why she was so rabidly curious about this new stranger, but had the distinct feeling it was quickly becoming a lost cause.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_No man can reveal to you nothing but that which already lies half-asleep in the dawning of your knowledge._ -Kahlil Gibran

After four hair washings, and a serious scrub down in steaming hot water, Fred stepped out of the bathroom in his borrowed clothes. The pants fit okay, if a bit snug, but the flannel shirt was almost obscene in its tightness around his chest and shoulders.

He had to admit, though- it felt good to be in clean clothes again.

He padded barefoot down the stairs in the direction of the voices. Murmurs of low speaking vampires that he listened to cautiously. Not angry buzzing, but filled with the timbre of concern . Sounds stopped when he entered the great room. He looked around uneasily at the large group of vampires present. In a quick glance, he caught sight of everyone. Bella, sitting nervously next to Edward; Tanya standing, her arm braced against the mantle of a large stone fireplace; A tall lanky man with dirty blond hair stood behind a dark-haired woman, his hand on her shoulder and last; olive toned, dark haired couple sitting together on a leather couch. Nearly everyone paired off and gaining comfort for each other.

What was this? The Wedding game? The sight of so many obviously happy couples made him even sadder. The fact that Tanya was alone allowed a brief moment of hope, only to be quashed by his own thoughts. _Why would she ever be interested in a mass murderer?_

Slowly, he made his way to an open chair near the fire. Part of him felt nervous being so close to the only thing that could kill him—hadn't he seen that enough in the newborn army? The other part enjoyed the warm comfort it brought him. He sat down cautiously, and began speaking softly.

"I don't completely understand why you all are doing this, but please know I'm grateful. I have so many questions to ask, but besides the obvious one, I really don't know which questions are the right ones." He looked steadily at Edward. "What happened to Bree?"

Edward looked down at Bella for a moment before responding, "You know the basics already, but perhaps you could tell us the background? It might make more sense to us that way."

"Well, you already know that Riley was in charge of us newborns but that we were bitten by someone else. A lot of them were losers, gangbangers, big-mouthed idiots. Bree was one of the younger ones turned, and tried to stay out of the jerks' ways. They already left me alone because I made them sick." At this lip quirked. "She figured if she stayed close to me, they ignored her too. One night, she and Diego didn't make it back before dawn."

Bella interrupted. "Why would that be a problem?"

Fred grimaced. "Because, among all the lies we were told, we were made to believe the myth about the sun was true. Bree and I suspected that Riley killed those newborns who figured out he was full of crap." He looked down at his hands and continued. "They came back the next night, but something was different about the way they related. Just for the record, I had always thought Diego was a decent guy. I was more careful to protect Bree now though, because Riley seemed suspicious. Then one day, Riley says he sent Diego on a fact finding trip."

Fred raised his head and met Edward's gaze. "Riley didn't trust _anyone_ that much. I thought maybe he figured something out and killed him. Riley didn't really like anyone he thought was smarter than him. So, I worked on keeping my head down and Bree under my influence, so he wouldn't figure out that she too, had some idea."

He looked around the room, his eyes suspiciously bright. "The only reason she was there at all was because Riley had told her Diego would meet them there. She was looking for him. I tried to talk her into running away with me, but she wouldn't. I couldn't protect her."

"That explains a lot." Edward sighed heavily. "Bree was the only newborn who surrendered."

Fred's head jerked back up. "She surrendered? Then why is she dead?"

"Did Riley ever mention the Volturi?"

"No, but Bella did." Fred ran his hand nervously through his hair.

"The Volturi...Eleazar, perhaps you would be best to describe them," Edward requested.

The swarthy man nodded. "I was with them for a while, Fred. The Volturi reside in Italy, and are among the oldest vampires in the world. Their role in the world is to keep the laws. We vampires really only have one rule; keep the secret. Those who bring our existence into question with the humans are summarily dealt with. Even the rule about immortal children was made because of that rule. Child vampires are too uncontrollable, but I digress.

Your creator, Victoria, made a mess of things. A newborn army takes a lot of human blood to support. Surely you heard of all the human news reporting your behaviors? It gave humans ideas the Volturi would have to stomp out."

"This is where it gets interesting though. The Volturi let it go a bit, because they were hoping they would decimate my family," Edward added.

Fred's face frowned in question, "Why?"

"We're a relatively large family, with many powers that Aro, the leader of the Volturi, want in his guard. We don't follow vampire feeding, and it makes them feel...uncomfortable. Most vampires live in covens of no more than two or three, and don't consider themselves families. The thought of family is a human concept."

Bella snorted, "We're a bit _too_ human for their tastes."

"Be fair, Bella." Eleazar commented, "They do have a place, even if your interactions with them have been a bit...questionable."

"Politicians are the same everywhere, Eleazar," Garrett retorted. "They're happy to tell you want you want to hear, until it directly opposes what they want. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, isn't that the way the saying goes?"

Fred focused, pushing his blond hair back off his forehead. "So." He paused in throught. " The Volturi are basically beneficent, until they feel threatened. Whether that be a coven of talented vampires, or an army of newborns hell-bent on giving the humans a reason to believe in our existence; Bree was to be made an example of."

Edward nodded sadly, "More or less. The guard said she broke the law, and there was no mercy whatsoever. My father, my family, pleaded for her clemency. We would take care of her, but they wouldn't be persuaded. If it is any consolation, it was quick."

"And you say, she spoke to you in her head? What did she say?"

"She told me not to believe the Volturi; that they had met with your creator about us. She was happy because once she knew she was going to die, she was getting a bit of revenge by letting me know. That she was glad I killed Victoria and Reilly. And to be nice to you if we were ever find you. I could tell she looked up to you like a brother. She worried about you."

Fred tensed and whimpered softly. Even through his pain though, he had to ask. "Why? What was it for? I'm not stupid enough to believe it was for territory, like Reilly told us."

"You're right, it wasn't," Edward answered, "It was revenge. The previous year, Victoria's mate, James decided to hunt Bella, who was already my mate, even though she was still human. He was a tracker, who thrilled in the hunt, the more difficult, the better. He never would have stopped. In the end, we had to kill him to save her. Victoria lost her mind. She hated me for killing him when she thought he would always succeed. She decided the best revenge was a mate for a mate, and wanted to kill Bella, but knew she'd be well protected by my family."

Fred turned to Bella. "Quite a life you've had, hadn't you?"

"Perhaps. But at least I got my happy ending." She responded smiling brilliantly, and squeezing Edward's hand.

Tanya broke in, "Now that you know, I'm curious. I understand why you ran out on the army, but what did that have to do with finding you up here, starving to death?"


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"_It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution_" -Oscar Wilde

_Tanya broke in, "Now that you know, I'm curious. I understand why you ran out on the army, but what did that have to do with finding you up here, starving to death?"_

Fred bowed his head, and slowly reached into his jean pocket, only to realize the paper he was searching for wouldn't be there.

"No," he whispered, agonized. "Where is it? Where did it go? I need it!"

Tanya was at his side before the men in the house would consider his erratic behavior a threat. She reached out to him, stroking his arm. "What, what is it, Fred?"

"A paper, I had a paper in my pocket. You put my clothes in the wash."

His eyes widened, looking utterly lost.

"Fred, it's okay, I checked your jean pockets in the laundry room before I put them in the wash. It must've been important to you, so I put it aside. Would you like me to bring it to you?"

A deep shuddering breath and a needy, "yes, please," had her sprint down the hall to retrieve the worn newspaper cutting.

A moment later had her pressing it into his shaking hand. "Thank you," he murmured, stroking the paper with his thumb. He looked at it a moment, then cautiously handed it over to Edward. Fred seemed certain he would breakdown if he had to read it aloud to everyone.

Edward nodded and carefully took the tattered piece. "Do you mind, Edward?" Fred looked him in the eye, and pleaded in his mind, knowing he wouldn't be able to tell this part of the story.

Edward nodded once more. "It's painful for him. The paper is a story about a ferry that was sunk, no survivors." He closed his eyes a moment, as Fred thought out the details of the real story. A look of horror crossed Edward's face, and he was glad that Fred was looking down into his hands.

"The night before they came to fight us, Reilly took them out to the sound. 21 vampires, and one disabled ferry. I almost wish I could kill Reilly again. The army killed every last man, woman and child on that boat that night, then sunk the ship."

Tanya could see the pain Fred was going through, and dropped her hand to his back, rubbing it in soft, slow circles.

"It gets worse." Edward's eyes filled with venom. "He found this article while he was waiting for Bree. His sister-his real, human sister-was on that boat. With everyone in a blood frenzy, he's not even sure..."

"Enough!" Fred lifted his tortured face as he growled. "Enough." he said again, quieter, more constrained. "I will never feed from a human again. I swore it the day I learned of Susie's death."

He looked up at each of the people he was surrounded by, making eye contact with each one. "This is why you have my gratitude. You have no idea what it means to me to be able to feed and not have to kill someone. Someone who could be somebody's sister, brother, mother, father, lover. It gives me hope that maybe I can do something with this half life we have."

Fred's eyes shot up angrily at Edward's sudden laugh. He clenched his hands, afraid he might attack the guy for his insensitivity.

"No, no, Fred, you misunderstand me. It's just, for a moment, you sounded like you were channeling my father."

The entire room chuckled softly and nodded their heads. Fred looked around questioningly, his anger dissipating.

"My father, my creator is Carlisle Cullen. He was turned in 1663. He was the son of a Pastor, who had rather harsh views of our existence. Carlisle had no wish to harm people, and like you, ran far away from humanity. In his case, it was just by chance he learned he could live on the blood of animals. And to the second part of your statement, about doing something with your life? Carlisle is a doctor."

Now it was Fred's turn to laugh. "When Victoria bit me, I was in med school."

"Perhaps we can get Carlisle to come visit then? You might find it...beneficial."

"It sounds interesting-but in a little while." He looked around the room, "I think I have enough going on right now."

Everyone chuckled in agreement.

"Wait. Your _father_?"

"Remember I said that we are closer to our humanity than most?" Bella responded. "Drinking animal blood lets us retain more of our humanity. While covens are more about power and control," Fred snorted in awareness. "Our group isn't like that. We are family. It is more than mates, more than creator and created. We would do anything to keep our family together."

"And you are all family?"

Tanya answered. "Loosely speaking. We don't live together. We tend to consider ourselves cousins. The Cullen family has 9 members; we are the Denalis, and except for Bella and Edward, we are all here. And you, if you wish to stay." Her stillness gave her away.

_She wants me to stay?_

Tanya continued. "You see, being a vegetarian-it's harder on your own. We help each other. The desire for human blood never totally goes away, but it does become easier to control."

_I could so live this life. But everyone who has ever gotten close me has always ended in tragedy. Why would they want me here? _The thoughts rushed through his vampiric brain, even while his mouth opened, his eyes and fists clenched shut, "If you are sure it wouldn't be a problem?"

This time, it was the small dark hair woman sitting with Eleazar who added to the conversation. In a quiet, accented voice, she said, "Fred, you may think you need us, but I think I can speak for all of us, I think we need you too. There is more history here than you know, and we understand your pain better than you might imagine. We can work on healing together."

Fred's relaxed and bent his head at the compassion pouring off this petite woman.

"Okay then. I'll stay."


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"_The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it_"- John Ray

Tanya was laying in her bedroom, her eyes were closed, and she was breathing deeply. In a desperate attempt to center herself, she had her hands pressed down against her marble abdomen. Her bedroom fireplace was flickering warmly, but, as usual, it was dark outside. It could have been five in the afternoon, or it could have been one in the morning...though really, it didn't matter.

She _wanted_ him. She could admit that to herself. Wanted him with a fierceness she had never wanted anyone else before.

She had learned something, at least, from her pursuit of Edward. Not every man—human or vampire-would fall prey to her wiles. And really, did she even want to use them? All of a sudden, they seemed so contrived, so…dishonest. She thought, no, she knew, it was different this time. But a newborn? How would he react to her past? Men never worried before, but they weren't the relationship sort, just wanting a quick, albeit mind-blowing, lay.

What was it about him? He was certainly gorgeous, but there were others, just as handsome, that didn't affect her like this. She was captivated by him before she knew his story. The parallels certainly would make her be more considerate of him-something she knew she wasn't really well known for.

_Change? Relationship? Trying to be a better person? Oh, God. _The facts pointed to it, and though she wanted desperately to deny it, she knew she couldn't.

Fred was her mate.

_I am so screwed! How can I convince him?_

She clenched her eyes tighter, not sure if she should be plotting, or cry out in defeat. Sure, she complained about being alone, but now? After a thousand years?

_I finally find him, and he's so emotionally broken he didn't even recognize it?_ With a huff, she hoisted herself up out of her large bed, and wandered downstairs, only to find it empty.

_Damn._

Fred sat in a leather overstuffed chair in front of the main fireplace. Kate and Garrett were together on the couch. Garrett's head rested in the blonde's lap, as she stroked his hair slowly. He watched them circumspectly, aware of the difference between this home, and all the places he had shared with the newborns. It was peaceful, quiet. He felt he could breathe here, and hadn't felt the urge to turn on his gift at all—he felt safe. Perhaps it was a false sense, but, even as a human, his instincts were pretty on target; after all, he knew better than to trust anything Riley told him. He knew to run, and he knew to protect Bree.

He stared into the flickering flames, listening to the quiet pops and hisses and the more subtle sound of Kate's fingers in Garrett's hair. As he continued to listen, he suddenly heard the sound of...a heartbeat? He concentrated harder, and paused in shock. His fingers dug into the soft, buttery leather, and a soft growl erupted from his throat.

"Fred, what is it?" Kate asked softly, her fingers stilling in Garrett's hair.

"A heartbeat. Why do I hear a heartbeat? It sounds _so_ luscious." Fred's eyes grew dark.

"Can you stay in control, Fred? Or do you and I need to go hunt? Because I promise you, _that_ heart is most certainly off limits," Garrett said warily.

"I. Will. Not. Lose. Control." Fred muttered through tightly clenched teeth. His fingers were digging holes in the chair and his entire body trembled.

Garrett slid to his feet. "Come on, Fred. It will be much easier to endure if you've had a fresh feed. And it's about time you hunted for yourself."

Kate stood as well. "We'll all go." They moved to Fred, each claiming a side and frog-marching him out the door. Once the fresh air hit him, he was more in control, and their grips loosened as they ran toward the feeding grounds.

The trio loped silently through the trees. Garrett and Kate shared a look of concern about Fred. The fact that he had fed so little recently and was still able to control his thirst boded well for his probability to remain a vegetarian, but they certainly weren't willing to test it with little Renesmee.

They fell upon the large herd of caribou, each one taking down an animal on the fringe, even as the rest of the herd stampeded off. Garrett and Kate watched as Fred chased down a second caribou, breaking its neck with a finesse that made it look as if he'd been living this existence for years. They observed him as he quickly drained the animal, then, taking his cue from his new friends, placed the carcass in the trees for the tundra wolves to find.

After clean up was completed, the three repleted vampires flopped down in the soft snow. "So, what was it I heard?"

"Bella and Edward's daughter, Renesmee," Kate responded with a soft smile.

Fred's eyebrows shot up.

"I know, hard to believe. No one ever thought it was possible—not even the Volturi. We came very close to a war over it. You should know that we aren't very high up on the Volturi's list of favorite people. You might be safer not joining us," Garrett added seriously.

Fred looked at him. "They killed Bree just for existing. So excuse me if I don't really care what they think."

Kate put her hand on Fred's shoulder. "Renesmee was born when Bella was still human, so she is half vampire, half human. That's why she has a heartbeat. She doesn't smell like food though, but you weren't close enough to tell that. The Cullens found another halfling like her, and discovered that she will grow until she reaches sixteen or seventeen, then she will be immortal like the rest of us."

"But didn't you say something about laws concerning immortal children?" Fred looked confused.

"That's what confused the Volturi. Renesmee grows; a true immortal child stays the age they were bitten at forever. No growing in control, and a serious lack of cognition. But Renesmee actually grows quite quickly. She should be fully grown in 7 years. She already looks like a four year old, and she was only born four months ago. And she sounds even older than that." Kate smiled.

"You really love her, don't you?" Fred answered her smile softly.

"We all do. My vampire mother was executed by the Volturi for creating an immortal child. It's one of the things we hate the most about being vampires; we can't ever have a child of our own. Bella's pregnancy was anything but normal, and they had to change her to save her." Kate's voice was filled with admiration for her new cousin, even as her visage darkened. "Our sister, Irina, saw Renesmee from a distance. She took our mother's execution the hardest, and was scared for our family."

Fred frowned, guessing at where Kate's story was going. He noticed Garret lean up on an arm to stroke his mate's back with his other hand.

"Irina is the one who told the Volturi about Renesmee. But when they realized that they couldn't use an immortal child as an excuse to kill off the Cullens," Kate paused here seeming to gather courage to finish. " They killed her right in front of us. They wanted us to retaliate so they would have an excuse to kill us." Anger flooded her voice, causing it to shake.

Garrett chuckled self-depreciatively. "You nearly did, my love. I would have been a toasted vampire if it were not for Bella's shield."

Fred looked at the couple, confused.

Garrett smiled. "You see, Kate also has a special power. She can choose to send powerful shocks over her skin. She lunged for the Volturi, and I had tackled her." He gave Fred the look shared by men. "Don't ever piss Kate off, is all I'm going to say."

Kate kissed his jaw. "And I'm thankful every moment that you didn't give up on me."

Fred stared for a moment, pondering the story. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the story, but why tell me?"

"A couple reasons. First, you're going to be family. It's what we do. There isn't much we can keep secret. And you have shared your past with us. Second, Well," Kate took a deep breath and Fred could see her squeeze Garrett's hand.

"Garrett came back with me, and he has really helped me a lot. Eleazar and Carmen have each other, of course. Tanya is having a really hard time because she's alone. You both feel like you failed your sisters." Kate bit her lip and Fred wondered what she was holding back.

"There is more history to us than you know, Fred, but please, I really think you can help each other."

He had the feeling she was giving him a warning, of what, he didn't know, but he knew he already felt himself leaning toward Tanya. There was an awareness, a concern, he felt for her that he didn't feel for the others.

He nodded in recognition of the statement, but didn't respond otherwise.

He had a lot to consider.


	12. Chapter 11

Sorry for the lack of author notes, but I figure y'all would rather just get to the story! Thanks for the wonderful rec's and reviews! Sorry for the late posting, but just had some (minor, no worries) surgery. But I'm feeling better now!

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Chapter 11

"_I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."-_Thoreau

The sun was shining over the sparkling snow when the three returned from their hunting. Edward had his arms wrapped around Bella from behind, as they were waiting on the porch. Fred could smell the exhaust of their SUV, which let him know their stay was at an end.

"You're leaving so soon, Cousin?" Kate asked.

Bella smiled. "It's time. It will be easier for Fred without Renesmee here, and we've done what we came to do."

Edward stroked Bella's arm. "It will be less stressful, Fred, without the extra people around. I know you've had a lot going on in your mind; it will be simpler to focus with fewer of us around."

"When you get your thirst under control, you should come visit us, Fred," Bella added kindly.

Garrett laughed suddenly. "And let me guess; if you didn't head home now, we'd have an additional furry visitor?"

"Yeah, I can't imagine that you would like to meet Jacob right now, Fred." Bella smiled knowingly.

Fred just looked confused.

Garrett laughed again. "Don't worry, we'll clue you in before you head down to visit."

In the mean time, Kate was at the SUV, touching hands through the window with Renesmee, adding her goodbyes.

"If you need anything, you know we're just a phone call away," Edward offered seriously.

"Do you think you're going to keep me from poquita?" Carmen answered from the doorway, where she stood with Eleazar. "We will be wearing out our welcome down there soon enough!"

Bella hugged her. "And you know you're always welcome."

Fred moved cautiously to Bella and pushed his hand forward formally. She grasped his open palm, only to pull his surprised body into a hug.

"Thank you, Bella."

"Hey Fred?"

He leaned back to look at the petite woman before him in the eye.

"You know, they say the best revenge is living well." She smirked and returned her arm around her husband's waist.

He nodded in understanding, and a small smile graced his face. "I see you are living with a vengeance then."

Bella's laugh tinkled across the tundra. "You've no idea. Stay well, and know our invitation is sincere. We are only a phone call away, even if it's just to chat, okay?"

Fred felt an ache in his chest where his stone heart resided. He could tell how sincere she was in the offer, and with all her other help, it touched him. He nodded silently, before shaking Edward's hand. The men's eyes met, and another nod of understanding passed between them.

Tanya popped up behind Carmen and Eleazar, and she hollered, "You all have a safe trip now!" to which everyone assembled laughed loudly.

Quiet days passed after the Cullens left. Fred was feeling at loose ends, and honestly, now that he had company, found he was a bit bored. He wondered what he could do to thank the family for taking him in so wholeheartedly. He noticed how the woodpile was becoming a bit sparse; they had more fires going while Renesmee was there, to keep it to a more human temperature. He also had a sneaky suspicion that the two couples found it romantic, and needed more closeness than usual lately.

Which had him thinking about Tanya again. He knew what Kate had said, had practically suggested, but even if he were interested -not that he wasn't-he wasn't going to get anywhere. Tanya seemed to be avoiding him like the plague.

He found a heavy duty mauling ax resting under the eaves near the wood pile, and headed out to the forest.

Still 'borrowing' Garrett's clothing, Fred decided to take off the excessively tight shirt, figuring he would manage to rip it.

He wandered, finding a dead tree and chopped it down quickly. He may not sweat anymore, but the rhythmic physical labor soothed his mind. He found himself focusing on the grain of the wood, the swing and thud of the ax head as it split the circular rings. Whistle and thud, whistle and thud; he knew he was getting sawdust in his hair, smatterings of it across his broad chest. He found he enjoyed it; the honest labor making him feel more human, even as his skin shimmered in the light, reminding him that it was only a semblance.

As Fred worked, he considered his place in his new family. Eleazar had said that gifts were often manifestations of a trait you once held when you were human. Damned if he could pinpoint how he got his talent. It's not like he made anyone throw up before, in his human days—not even metaphorically. He knew he was considered to be a stand-up guy; nothing weasely about him. He internally smirked. _Its not like I was studying gastroenterology either. _

He began stacking the wood where he chopped, not sure the best way to get it back to the cabin. As he moved, he considered the other members of the family. Carmen was like a favored aunt; sweet, with a bit of spice to keep her from being boring.

He cleaned up the brush as he moved on to the next couple. Kate was rather quiet, whether that was her personality, or just the way she was giving him space, he couldn't quite tell. He liked the way she would touch his arm in passing, or even ruffle his hair when she teased him. It made him feel like a well loved younger brother, and though he hadn't put voice to his feelings, he appreciated it deeply. After nearly a year alone, and before that time spent literally watching his back, he gained immeasurable comfort from the sense of family they gave him.

Even the chores.

Garrett was probably the one he most connected with. He was straightforward and passionate about many things, never having a problem speaking his mind. Some might dislike that sort of person, but Fred preferred it. He would rather have honesty than platitudes any day.

But Tanya was who was driving him insane. He knew she felt as guilty for her own sister as he did about his. He knew Kate-and probably the rest—was hoping he could help her through her grieving, but hell, how could he? He wondered what it was exactly that he had done to make her avoid him.

He felt guilty for thinking of her. He knew logically, he would have to move on from his feelings of guilt over his own sister, but that woman kept interrupting his thoughts.

Fred looked at the stack he'd completed while he pondered. Half a cord's worth of wood sat neatly stacked, waiting to be moved. He smiled before trying to brush out the chips from his hair, and off his chest. He reached for Garrett's shirt which he left hanging on a nearby branch, and slid his arms through it. He left it unbuttoned, while his thoughts turned to the hot shower he was looking forward to.

Tanya was running again, in big circuits, far from the cabin. _I will not attack him. I will not attack him._ It nearly became a mantra, in tempo with her footfalls on the snow and occasional rock.

She knew she had been actively avoiding her houseguest. He scrambled her mind, and she really didn't think he was able to comprehend right now their being mates. So, she struggled to give him the space he would need.

Trees would have been a blur to human eyes as she sped over the mountainous terrain. The whiteness of the snow glared and reflected on her own sparkling skin. Tanya noticed none of it, though. She wanted to learn everything about Fred—wanted to share what she herself had learned over the last thousand years—but a small, honest corner of her brain was worried about how he would view that history.

Never having felt insecure about a man before left Tanya completely lost. Dalliances didn't require you to be a good person, just a really good fuck. After seeing so many happily mated couples though, she knew that simply wouldn't be enough.

Could she be enough for him?

It was then that the rhythmic thud and the scent of ocean and bay came to her, forcing her to stop in her tracks. She breathed deeply, taking in the smell that was starting to mean everything to her, if she wasn't trying to fool herself.

Quietly, she came up upon the overlooking ridge. _Oh. Holy. Mother of God._ Tanya ogled. Her eyes noted the smooth skin covering the flexing back muscles as he slid the ax up and down. The jeans he had borrowed were sitting low on his hips, making her breath quicken. When he turned slightly, as he struck the ax, she could see the small bits of wood that were tangled in the sparse golden chest hairs.

What she wouldn't do to be one of those wood chips.

She closed her eyes tightly then took a deep breath, her senses drinking his scent. She opened her eyes once more, and decided it would be best to head back to the cabin. She wouldn't want to be caught staring, and if he was out of the house, it would be a good time to return.

A happy little wood chip was her only thought on the way back home.

860.456.8540 jen royce


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"_There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained_" -Winston Churchill

Fred walked into the cabin with an armload of wood. Cocking his head, he noticed something was...different. He took a deep breath and it hit him.

_Human._

The scent was there, and he could knew it, the venom pooling in his mouth, but he breathed a sigh of relief when that was all it was. No raging need to devour, no thoughtless, mindless killing machine; it was a nice change.

He dropped the load of logs in the pile next to the fireplace, and listened to see if he could hear any of his new family. Kate was out on the porch, so he headed to the front door.

He opened the door, just as she was trying to hold the box and fumble with the latch at the same time. The weight wasn't the problem, but even vampires only have two hands.

She walked in with the large package. "We got a delivery! Good thing you were out, Fred," she chuckled.

"So, that's why I smell human," he commented, looking over her blonde head to see what the box was about.

"Well, unless you know of a vampire Fed-Ex man, yes. Well, looky, looky...It has your name on it, Fred." Kate shoved it across the floor with her foot, watching it stop at his confused feet.

He stared at the tag, and could see the return address of the Cullen's in Forks, Washington. What he didn't understand was why it said _Fred Sorensen_. Sorensen was his maternal grandmother's name.

"I don't get it, Kate; that's not my name."

Kate's laughter tinkled through the open space. "Well, you can't really go by Fred Burch, now can you? He's dead. You can go back to it in 50 years or so, but for now, you need to have another name. Be happy Jasper likes historical research, if it'd been Emmett to give you a last name, you'd have something like Fuzzinutt"

Fred groaned. "Thank you, Jasper—whoever you are." Fred started opening the box. On the very top was a silver cell phone on top of a white envelope with the words, "read me" scrawled on it. He cautiously opened the envelope, and skimmed to the bottom to see that it was from Bella.

His heart tightened in his chest at her thoughtfulness. It seems one of her...sisters—he was still getting used to the idea of vampiric families—was a shopaholic, and went on a bit of a spending spree, getting him clothes that would _actually_ fit. He dug around, finding a number of denim jeans, some nice slacks, thick flannels, sweaters, and a few button downs. From the tone of Bella's note, she'd had to severely rein in her sister Alice.

The next comment in her letter was about a folder. Inside were new identification papers and a credit card with his name on it. Bella had explained that the families pooled wealth; as the Cullens had more to do with humans than the Denalis, and with Alice's ability to see the future, well, the stock market wasn't much of a challenge. Jasper made sure all the paperwork was in order

She also added that she had had a real problem accepting the Cullen generosity herself, especially when she had first met them, but hoped that he would know it wasn't meant to offend him. He was family now..

She had added the phone herself, writing how, since he had yet to call her. Fred smiled at that and noted that she had programmed all the family's numbers in it-even the ones he didn't know yet.

He chuckled when he saw a note pinned to a creamy fisherman's knit sweater. In dainty handwriting, it said "Wear me first!"

He looked at Kate, having nearly forgotten she was there, with a wide smile on her face.

Fred looked at her, flabbergasted, and asked, "Is this normal?"

"A welcome to the family box? Well, besides Bella, we haven't really welcomed anyone new. They already knew Garrett and since he had his own clothes, all he had gotten was the file folder." She chuckled.

"They're very...thorough, aren't they?"

Kate sat next to him and nudged him. "Don't you think they have to do be, to live among humans?"

Fred stilled for a moment, then nodded. "I can't imagine how careful they must be."

"Oh, they've made their mistakes, trust me!" Kate nudged him again.

Fred flipped open the phone, and looked through the listings, and smiled wistfully at the built in family he had fallen into. If he were still human, he would cry. He didn't deserve this family when he'd taken such poor care of his human one, but he would try to be worthy of it, just the same.

He clicked the dial button, and smiled at the thought of his long-distant sister.

"Hey, Fred! I'm so glad you _finally_ called!" Bella's voice came through teasingly.

"Bella, I don't know what to say except thank you. It is so generous and thoughtful," Fred said emotionally.

"I was lucky, Fred. When I was changed, I was surrounded by people who loved and supported me. My family made everything so much easier. I'm just paying it forward."

"Well, I'm giving you a huge big brother hug next time I see you."

He could hear her smile over the phone, "I thought I was the big sister? Anyway, Alice wanted me to tell you that the sweater she put the note on?" she said with a mischievous tone to her voice.

"Yeah?" concern colored his voice.

"She says be careful with it; It's going to be one of Tanya's favorites," Bella giggled.

"Brat," Fred muttered.

"Maybe, but you love me anyway. Alice says you won't have time now for a heart to heart, but you and me, we're gonna have a chat soon about that," Bella warned.

"You really are like a big sister. And you're right, I do love you. Which is why I can't just tell you to go to hell, and that it's none of your business."

Bella laughed loudly. "As if that would stop me! Now, don't be a stranger. Alice says the rest of the family will be coming back in only a few minutes, so I'll head off."

"I won't be. Talk to you soon." Fred closed the phone and tossed it on top of the pile in the box. He hefted it up in one arm, and gave Kate a one armed hug. "Thanks…really."

Kate just smiled at him as he walked away.

Fred dropped the box on his bed, pulling everything out, only to find that clothes, papers and phone weren't the only generosity, but also a laptop and...books.

Never mind a big brother hug, he was going to kiss his 'sister' when he saw her next. Much as he loved his new family, the only one who really liked reading much was Eleazar, who preferred to read in Spanish when possible. Garrett liked reading now and then, but being so new to the family, he hadn't had time to really build up a library, and Fred had already read everything of interest in the first week.

God Bless her, was all he could think.

He quickly put everything away, except for the specified sweater, a pair of jeans and a pair of sneakers that were included, and headed to the bathroom for the shower he had promised himself.


	14. Chapter 13

Hey all! Sorry for the wait; had some log-in issues, and a bit of writer's block...the next few chapters should be uploaded pretty fast. Thanks to all who put this story on alert, or left me a review...i lvoe them all!

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Chapter 13

_"Most dangerous is that temptation that doth goad us on to sin in loving virtue." _~William Shakespeare (Measure for Measure, Scene II)

Books. Books, books and more books.

Fred chose one from the pile, not sure how Bella knew what genres he liked, but then, he'd read the telephone book right now if he could. What was more, when he finished the paper books, he could simply go online and read any number of books there.

With his hair still damp, he flopped into 'his' chair; the one by the fireplace, that he'd dug his fingers into. He supposed he could've read up in his room, but it was nice to have people come and go around him.

He sat with a medical murder mystery in his hand, and quickly became engrossed as he found some of his human memories coming back to him. Of course, it was only because he realized certain things the writer had suggested simply weren't possible. He snorted, and pulled his legs up, his arm leaning on his leg, the book dangling over his knee.

Bella's sister, Alice, was a genius. The clothes not only fit his style, but fit him as though they were made for him. The jeans were soft and worn, didn't bulge or sag, but weren't so tight he felt like they were painted on. And the sweater...he knew he couldn't feel _warm_ from a sweater, but it did make him feel rather cozy. He knew, intellectually, it was all in his mind; he really didn't NEED it, but it reminded him of the sort of sweaters his grandmother used to make, and it made him feel at home.

Then came the fact that Bella made a comment about Tanya.

Had he really been that transparent? Did she know how he really felt about Tanya? Even Kate commented on how similar they were, and how alone they both were. Fred sighed, his fingers running through his damp hair again. He wished he had the guts to tell her how he really felt, but hell, what could he say? Could he leave his new home if things got weird? He finally was starting to find some peace here. And really, when it came to it, what _did_ he know about her? She was still being as illusive as ever. With a heavy sigh that would've made a human proud, he returned to his reading.

Tanya grumbled. She had gone out, ostensibly to hunt, but in reality to get way from the house. How she managed to run into Kate and Garrett, who were both laughing as they demolished a rather large granite boulder, but also into Eleazar and Carmen, on her way back to the cabin after seeing—oh, all right, _ogling_—Fred was beyond her comprehension.

Her hormones were shot. She had rarely gone this long without trawling the human bars, and here her whole family reeked of sex! Needless to say, she couldn't return to the house immediately. So, she wandered a bit to let herself cool down.

She strode into the house, door slamming behind her. She huffed once more only to stop dead in her tracks.

_Damn,_ she thought to herself. Her quick eyes caught the image of Fred before he started at her sudden entrance. He had been leaning over a book, utterly absorbed. The sunshine was coming in the window, sparkling off his neck, and making his golden hair glisten.

How she wanted to run her fingers through that hair.

She took in his casual clothing, smiling slightly when she realized they couldn't have been Garrett's. They fit.

They REALLY fit. She was jealous of those clothes. She wanted to be wrapped around Fred like that, to slide across the angles and plains of his body. The creamy fisherman's knit sweater made him look like he'd just stepped off the docks. The thought made her laugh a bit internally, since she always thought he smelled a bit of the sea. That led to thoughts of taking his magnificent body on a beach, rolling in the waves, as her cold tongue licked the salt from his marble skin...

_DAMN!_ She had to stop torturing herself. It was a good thing Edward _wasn't_ here anymore; he'd positively blush at the thoughts going through her head at lightening speed.

It was at this moment Fred looked up at her. A bright smile crossed his face and made Tanya melt just a bit more…until she saw his darkened eyes.

Tanya was at his side in a moment.

"Fred, when was the last time you went hunting?" she asked with concern.

"Umm, I don't know, really. I hadn't really thought about it."

Tanya thought for a moment. Here was a vampire who for all intents and purposes was an anorexic. The thought of regular meals wasn't ingrained in his system, and needed to be watched carefully. She would have to talk to the rest of the family about that.

"It's been too long, I can tell. You're eyes are black. We need to get you out hunting. Oh, and while I think of it; there's a family of arctic foxes in the area. _Try _not to eat them? They're endangered." She placed her hand on his forearm and nearly moaned at the electric pulse that passed between them. Her fingers slid down, and she grabbed his hand. "Come on, slacker, no time like the present!"

Fred looked at her with a smile. "Give me a moment. I want to change my shirt and get my boots on."

Tanya laughed, but at the same time thought it was sweet how he wanted to take care of the gifts he'd been given. She reached out and gently tugged at the sleeve. "Alice?"

Fred smiled. "And Bella. They sent a whole box of stuff along with some papers...and _books._"

Tanya gulped at the look on his face. She wanted...well, that _was_ it she supposed. She wanted. She wanted to see that look. Often. She wanted him. Everything about him.

Fred ran after Tanya in the arctic dusk. He had fallen behind, having caught the scent of something new, and had his first marten. The blood was smoother, muskier than anything else he'd had, and he enjoyed it immensely, even if it was a small snack. He was just catching up, when they found the back edge of the enormous caribou herd.

Fred pounced on the nearest animal, tasting the absinthe flavor of its blood as he drank thirstily. Quickly, he felt energy pulse through him. His mind shut down and he gave himself over as he finished his meal. His senses picked up the sound of another vampire feeding, and he crouched, senses alert.

He saw the blonde holding up the neck of a mature doe, her eyes closed with a look of completion. He felt a growl of desire erupt from his chest, and in a flash, he was at her side. Not a fleck of blood touched her soft blue shirt as she dropped the now empty carcass and her eyes met his.

Both were still black; but this time with desire.

Without a thought, Fred grabbed her arm, and spun her into his arms. His lips fell to hers with a desperation that couldn't be matched. His arms wrapped around her fiercely, even as he swallowed her deep moan. One of his hands tangled into her luscious mane of hair, as his tongue invaded her willing mouth. He growled again, only to stop dead still.

Fred looked down into Tanya's desire laden eyes, but could only see how he had taken advantage of her; how he lost control. Remorse flooded through him, and quietly he stuttered, "I am so sorry," before turning tail and running swiftly away.

Tanya softly touching her lips, unable to say a word.


	15. Chapter 14

I admit, I'm disappointed in the number of reviews, but hey, Bella isn't the main character; the story doesn't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't read 'The Short Second Life...', and as of YET, there's no steamy hot vamp love...So I really appreciate it when readers like With a K leave such a heart melting (literally, verbally went 'awwwww' when I read it!) review...THANK YOU! And trust me, I appreciate all those who put it on alert to...I akin it to those shy people in class who know the answer but never raise their hand:).

Lemons are coming...I promise...eventually...but really, would you want them to jump _straight_ into bed? (or forest floor?)

As always, Praise to Stephenie Meyer, for recognizing we're not stealing, abusing, or molesting her characters for financial gain, and sharing her world. Not all writers are so generous.

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Chapter 14

_"I get by with a little help from my friends..."-_John Lennon, Paul McCartney

Fred ran aimlessly through the dark trees and snow drifts, lost in his thoughts. _Why did I just do that? She must think I'm a complete jerk...Jesus, she's been avoiding me...should've just kept it to myself._ He was sure things would be extremely awkward when he returned, and he certainly didn't want to push one of his benefactors out of her own home.

This was totally beyond him. Other than a high school sweetheart, which went the way of the dodo when they each started college, he'd never really had much experience with relationships. He had always been too busy in college to worry about how girls thought or acted.

He admitted it. He needed help. He pulled out the shiny new cell phone he had promised to always keep on him.

"Bella?"

"What's up, Fred? And you're a vampire, for goodness sake, Why do you sound winded?" Bella replied with a chuckle in her voice.

"I'm so stupid," Fred whined.

Bella sighed. "Fred, you're a guy, that goes without saying—at least some of the time. So tell me what happened."

Fred flopped down against a tree trunk, careful not to crush the silver phone in his fingers. "We were hunting."

"You and...Tanya?" Bella groaned. "Ohhh, Fred, bad move. Really bad."

Fred moaned in agreement. "No kidding...but why?"

"Umm Fred?" Embarrassment flooded Bella's voice. "There's not much difference between blood lust and plain, good old fashioned lust. When you lose yourself to the blood lust, it becomes really difficult to control the other." She paused, sympathetic. "So. What did you do?"

If Bella had been human, she never would have understood his mumbled response of, "Ikissedher."

"Fred?" The soft huff of mild amusement came through the small phone. "Take a totally unneeded deep breath, because you aren't using a tenth of that massive vampire brain of yours." Mirth colored her words.

Fred was confused. "Why do you say that?"

"Are your arms still attached to your torso? Did you have to dig your sorry butt out of a ten foot slab of granite?" Bella chuckled and continued, "Did you have to reach into your throat to retrieve your gonads? Did she tell you to fuck off? What should that all tell you?"

When Fred didn't answer, Bella continued more quietly. "I get you want to be a gentleman, brother dear, but Tanya is a strong woman, and if you did something she didn't want you to, you'd damn well know it. The fact that you're in one piece tells me you screwed up all right, but not by kissing her—by running off."

Fred thunked his head against the tree trunk. "I've really screwed up, haven't I?"

Bella's laugh tinkled. "Question is, how are you gonna fix it?"

The wheels in Fred's vampire mind spun. The thought of just kissing her again was high on his mind, but he knew they really needed to talk and get it all out in the open first. _Christ, now I'm sounding like a damned woman. Aw, hell. Anything I used to use...Can't do chocolates, that's just idiocy. I'm in the back of beyond, so flowers won't do...not to mention cheesy...Jewelry? Maybe if we were closer, or it wouldn't take so much time for delivery...Think._

A smile broke out over Fred's face. He knew exactly what to do.

Tanya wasn't sure if she was excited or pissed off. She could still feel the electric pulsing against her lips like sparks of static. And the taste! It was as though she had stepped into a copse of silver birch trees that grew near the river. When she breathed deeply, she could taste the scent of the sweet sap rising from the branches in spring; sweet, woodsy, and almost otherworldly. Add the complete feeling of peace that settled over her and...

It was the feeling of home.

She hugged herself, feeling foolish, but not caring. So what if he ran; it wasn't like he hadn't enjoyed it. He _wanted_ her. She could even admit that he had every reason to be confused. It's not like she had been giving off clear signals; she had been avoiding him quite adroitly.

She knew he was her mate, but it was highly unlikely he'd been taught about vampire mating in that god-awful newborn camp he'd 'grown up' in. Now she knew he at least felt it, even if he didn't know exactly what that meant yet.

It was an opening.

_God, what a kiss..._

She finished clearing up their mess, and then walked toward the cabin at human speed.

She spent the time thinking, and realizing that this whole thing was totally out of her realm. As she got close enough to get a signal, she pulled out her cell phone and called Kate.

"Kate? Can you come out and meet me? I really need to talk." A loud squeal on the other end was her answer. "Katie, calm down. I need your help!"

"I'll be right there—and be ready to dish all the dirt!" Tanya could hear a quick kiss over the phone, before the beep of a suddenly closed phone.

She sat down on a large granite boulder to wait for her sister—her closest friend.

For hundreds of years, the two compared notes about this man or that. At first, if she were honest, she was jealous of Garrett. Not of their relationship, though she would admit to a wistful enviousness; but, all those talks stopped abruptly with his appearance in their lives. Now, she had to admit, she understood it. That's the difference between a good lay and a mate; mates were...sacred. She was happy for her sister, really, but wished she was as settled as Kate was. Boy, did she have it easy.

It was a shower of snow that pulled Tanya from her thoughts. The flurry of snowflakes came from Kate plopping herself down in the snowdrift in front of her sister.

"Hey there, Mopey,so where's the fire?" Kate looked up with concern.

Tanya knew it would have to come out, so she just blurted it. "He kissed me."

"Woo hoo! Awesome! And? Why are you talking to me, rather than practicing your talents on him?"?"

She mumbled morosely, "He ran off."

"Ouch."

Tanya met her sister's eyes and sighed. "It's okay- really, I've probably confused the shit out of him. I mean, it was obvious he wanted it, even though he ran."

"You left a guy with blue balls? I never thought I'd see the day!"

"Oh, bite me." Both girls chuckled over the long standing insult between the two of them.

"Seriously, Katie, I don't know what to do. If it was just seduction, you know that wouldn't be the problem." Tanya didn't even notice the granite was turning to sand under her tensed fingers.

Kate looked at her sister, and quietly and sincerely replied, "No, because you've finally realized there is something more—and you're terrified of ruining it. Believe me, I know. Right now, there are three things you need to do, sweetie." She smiled as she put her hand on her sister's. "First, you gotta put on your big girl panties and talk to the poor man; communicate, you're not a fucking animal. Second, you need to be honest, cuz nothing kills an actual relationship faster than being caught in a lie."

It was quiet for a moment, and it put Tanya back on edge. "And third?" she finally asked to break the silence.

A wicked gleam entered Kate's eye and with a laugh, she replied, "Seduce him of course!"

The women both laughed and stood. They wrapped their arms around each other as they headed back toward the cabin.

"I've missed this, you know," Tanya admitted quietly.

Kate squeezed her sister. "I know, I have too. We'll just have to find an equally interesting topic as seducing men. Now, let's go find your mate. And by the way...you said he was interested...exactly what sort of package are we talking about?"

"Katie!"

"What? That good, huh?" her sister replied in a mock innocent tone. Tanya gave her a dirty look, before nodding her head happily.

The women giggled as they walked home arm in arm.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Fred took his time returning to the cabin. He wandered up and down the hills and through windswept fields. He had a bit of an idea, but had to find a birch grove first. He smiled, knowing he could do it, as long as he was careful, he just hoped that it was something Tanya would really enjoy. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, smelling for the characteristic swamp-sweet scent of birches.

He moved southwest, and came upon a stand. He was hunting for a long straight branch with no off branches; nothing to leave a knot and ruin the lines of what he had in mind. He inspected it carefully, and then broke off a branch.

He sat with the lump of hardwood in his lap, his fingers digging carefully, creating smooth curves and feathered lines. He crushed some sand from a nearby boulder, and used his sand-coated thumbs to rhythmically smooth away any imperfections in the delicate wood carving.

Fred smiled at the carving in his hands, hoping that it would make Tanya smile. He hated that she often looked so sad. He looked at it slowly, the eyes, so realistically peeking out at him.

He practically flew home, smiling to himself all the way. Home-he liked that thought. It had been a long time that he felt like he had a home. He found he was much calmer now, and knew he had Bella to thank for it. He wanted to talk to her. The kiss was...well, amazing...but he wanted more than that...he knew he needed to get to know her—_really_ get to know her.

Fred could admit it now, he wanted to know what made Tanya tick, what made her cry, what made her sing. He knew she'd been around for a while, but what exactly is a while? He smiled again thinking how he was going to enjoy unwrapping the mystery that was Tanya.

Everyone was sitting in the living room, just relaxing. Carmen was in Eleazar's arms, as he read quietly to her in Spanish, stroking her hair. Tanya and Kate were sitting on the floor in front of the fire, looking at magazines and comparing hair styles while Garrett sat in chair behind Kate with a laptop.

All eyes were on Fred when he walked in, forcing an embarrassed smile and a small wave from him before he headed to the back of the house. He knew he had to talk to Tanya, but he didn't want it to be the family entertainment for the night.

Thankfully, he didn't have to.

As he sat in his room, trying to decide how best to get her alone, he sensed her at his door. He couldn't really explain, it wasn't her scent of wood smoke and cinnamon, thought he breathed it in deeply. It suddenly just felt...right.

"You can come in, you know," he said softly, and the doorknob turned as Tanya stepped in. He knew everyone was likely to be listening, but at least he didn't have to see them watching him make an ass of himself. It was going to be bad enough that he was afraid he was going to make an ass of himself in front of _her_. But damned if he was going to let her think he didn't want this...want her. He felt guilty for how self-conscious she seemed to be. A woman that beautiful should never have to feel self-conscious.

"Look-"

"I'm sor-"

They giggled nervously as they both tried to speak.

"Ladies first," Fred said with a swipe of his arm.

Tanya looked at him sincerely and said, "I'm sorry for running off on you."

"And I shouldn't have gone all caveman on you," Fred said as he pulled his fingers through his hair. "Wait. For running away?"

Tanya smiled at his confusion. "Well, yeah. I was...ummm...enjoying myself."

Fred moved with vampire speed across the room in front of her, before his fingers slid up to stroke her face. "Never let it be said that I didn't take a lady's wishes into consideration."

His cheeky grin morphed into a soft smile, before dropping his lips to hers. _Perfect. _ Smooth, welcoming. She moaned softly, as softer than a butterfly, his lips barely brushed against hers, lingering as he inhaled deeply the smells that reminded him most of home, the spicy warm scent of his mother baking spice cookies for the holidays. It should have surprised him, both the memory and the connection, but it didn't. Tanya _was_ his home now.

Her eyes were still closed as he leaned back from the kiss. _Now that's a sight I could get used to, _he thought to himself. So serene and perfect.

"I um...I have something for you."

Tanya's eyes slid open in confusion. "What? How?"

"Well, I knew I couldn't give you chocolates," he chuckled softly, "but you've given me so much, I didn't want ..."

"Fred, what you've gotten is from the family—not from me," she said seriously. "I won't have you feeling like we're starting something unequally."

"Just so you understand," he replied as he moved swiftly to the bedside stand in the room before returning and kissing the tip of her nose. Carefully, he took out the palm sized sculpture, and held it out to her.

Tanya's eyes widened. "You made this…for me?"

It was times like these that Fred was glad vampires couldn't blush. "Well, you seemed concerned about them, and I can't really get out to shop for anything right now. You also kind of remind me of her.."

"Her" was an exquisitely rendered arctic fox, her fluffy tail wrapped around her body in repose, her sharp, vulpine eyes staring watchfully out through the carefully carved wooden fur.

"She's beautiful."

Fred wore a cheesy smile. "I said she reminded me of you. Beautiful, yet guarded, but still a complete vixen."

Tanya smiled and chuckled lightly, all the while realizing exactly how much he had seen into her true self.

"Thank you. Truly. I've never gotten such a special, thoughtful gift." She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him gently.

His arms wrapped almost carefully around her waist, even though he didn't attempt to deepen the kiss. When they finally broke apart, Tanya rested her forehead on his firm chest.

"I've never done this before—the whole relationship thing," Tanya whispered softly. "I'm afraid I'll do something to screw this up. I've looked for you for a very, very long time."

Fred smiled into her hair. "I want to learn all about you. And to be honest, I'm really not all that complicated. We have plenty of time to take it slow, and figure it out as we go along."

Fred heard a muffled snicker from the living room, confirming they were actually being listened to. "Tanya's never done slow before!" and then the muffled explosion of a smack came from the distant living room. A masculine groan followed.

Tanya groaned and hollered back, "We can hear you, you know!"

Fred looked down at the beautiful, yet irritated woman in front of him. He leaned forward and whispered ever so quietly, "You want to go for a run?"

Tanya beamed up at him. "God, yes!"

They dove out the front door, cheered on by hoots and hollers from the peanut gallery currently residing in the living room, and sprinted out into the trees.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_"There's no way I could try harder_

_I've sunk like a ship in your eyes._

_I hold on tight to my sinking anchor_

_Useless, I've already fallen_."-Wire Method

They ran quickly through the forest, each laughing at the release of stress. To think they had been avoiding each other all this time, only to find out there was a mutual attraction. It was like dancing under the aurora, or feasting on polar bear—unique, exciting, magical and fulfilling.

Easily dodging trees and overhanging branches, Tanya sprinted ahead of Fred, looking back and smiling impishly. As he caught up with her, he pulled at her waist, dragging her into the soft, deep snow with him. They both giggled while they sunk into the fluffy snow bank, their eyes connected, and both smiled softly.

"Hey," Tanya whispered quietly.

"Hey yourself," Fred murmured back, as his gaze became unfocussed. He couldn't help appreciating how lovely she looked with the snow crystals like diamonds scattered in her hair, her eyelashes, and blending into her shimmering skin. His fingers slid back a fallen lock of her hair, and her eyes fluttered closed.

"What is this?" he murmured. "I mean, I know it's something more...It's too intense..."

Tanya clenched her eyes closed, speaking carefully. "Vampires don't change easily. I'm sure you've already figured that out." She sighed softly and Fred nodded. "Whatever we were when we died, we bring with us, and that determines who we are for eternity. But, we continue to learn, if not grow." She opened her eyes and met his steady gaze. "When vampires find their mate, they fall in love-deeply, quickly and eternally. It changes us in a way nothing else will. A vampire can search for their mate for centuries...and never find them."

"We're…mates?"

"I knew the moment I met you." Tanya nodded slowly. "But just because I knew, didn't mean I didn't want to give you a choice. I mean, with what you grew up with, I didn't think you knew about vampire mates, and I didn't want you to think I was forcing you into anything. I thought it would be easier for you to come into it on your own terms."

"I...I think I've seen it before...with Bree and Diego," Fred said his eyes lost in memory of the two vampires' subtle reactions to one another. "They would've done anything to protect each other, I think. They had to hide it from the others though. I didn't spend as much time with Diego, but you could see it in Bree's eyes...when he was mentioned, how they would follow him, even though they were trying to be circumspect."

"From what you've told me, I wouldn't have been surprised," Tanya agreed but lowered her eyes. "I wasn't trying to hide it from you, you know. I just had never thought I'd actually find you."

Fred smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Exactly how long have you been looking?"

Tanya froze with concern. Not that she was ashamed of her age, but really-how do you tell someone you're a millennia old? What if it totally freaked him out?

Tanya clenched his fingers in his hand before responding, "I've been a vampire for just over a thousand years."

Fred's eyes widened. "You're. Joking."

"Actually, I was bit during one of the waves of the Black Plague in, what is now the Slovak Republic," Tanya said, laughing at his surprise. "The Hungarians ruled the area when I was still human. My family worked in a vineyard, between the Carpathian Mountains and the Danube River. "

Fred looked over her shoulder into the distance. "It sounds so different than how you are here and now. I can't imagine all you've seen." He paused, obviously rethinking her comments. "Wait, so, you're like a cougar!" Fred chuckled slightly in awe.

Tanya leaned back a bit, to look at his full face. "What does a big cat have to do with me?"

Fred laughed outright. "I suppose it's a modern expression. A cougar is an older woman who is after a younger man."

"So does that mean if you rub me right, I'm supposed to purr?"

Fred chuckled and leaned in, his breath brushing across her waiting lips. "Eventually."

His lips descended, pressing coolly against hers. Slowly, his fingers swept up her cheek through her hair, until his large hand was cradling her head. He groaned deeply as her tongue flicked out kitten-like to tempt his lips further. The sensation exploded in his conscience, and he pulled her body against his, wanting more, wanting _everything._

Her hands were in his hair, stroking down his shoulders, over his chest, sliding along his waistband. With a gasp, he pulled himself away.

"I know...I understand we're mates, and I know I'm a vampire." He breathed heavily in frustration. "But my head is still full of these human ideas about what makes you a decent person." He met her amber eyes earnestly. "I want to get to know you, what makes you tick, what makes you…_you._ And as much as I want that deliciously hot body you're currently tempting me with, I want all of you. I guess I have old fashioned views on how to show respect to a woman, but that is part of who _I _am."

Tanya was hit with a flood of emotions. First, that someone was interested in HER, and not just her prodigious talents; that here was a vampire who fought his instincts to retain at least some of his humanity. The second part of her brain was just as rapidly processing that here was another Edward, who might not exactly appreciate how she spent the last millennium or so. She just hoped he got to know enough about her and fell enough in love with her before he found out that part of the story.

Tanya looked up into the hopeful face in front of her. In a sweet voice that belied her normal tone, she said, "What would you like to know?"


	18. Chapter 18

**An Epic fail on my part, and likely to continue being so. I could give a whole long line of reasons why, but you've likely heard them all. I DO always finish my stories though.  
**

**Chapter 18**

Tanya was walking toward the cabin after Garrett came to claim his mate for a hunt. The air had that crisp, bright, earthy smell of early spring that sharpened in the dusk. Thank goodness the bugs in the air couldn't feast on their stone flesh; it was one of the blessings of vampire life, that was for certain. They were quite thick that night.

She refocused her mind, thinking on how best to seduce her shy mate. While hunting would be fun, certainly, she knew her mate preferred being closer to his humanity, so at least in the cabin, if not in a bed.

_For fuck's sake, this isn't a military operation! I just want to make love with the most wonderful man in the world, is that really too much to ask?_

Good god, now even her conscience was arguing with her. Katie's rule number one. Communicate. Maybe he's waiting for me. Maybe he doesn't know how crazy he's making me, or how really, _really_ ready I am for him.

Having made that decision, she clomped up the stairs to the front door. She could see the warm glow of the fireplace through the front window, and it made her smile.

She stepped in the door, and tugged off her boots, before heading into the great room. She stopped in her tracks as she saw what was waiting for her. Mountains of pillows were on the floor before the fireplace, and the bearskin rug that Emmett had gifted the family years ago. Fred was sitting self consciously in the midst of it all, obviously waiting for her return.

He held out his hand to her, and she floated toward him. "I hope you don't mind, but I kinda kicked the family out tonight. I've been neglecting you, and I'm hoping you'll allow me to remedy that oversight."

"I want you; I want _this_ more than you can possibly imagine. But I don't want you to do it for me. I don't want you uncomfortable. If you're not ready, I can wait. Really," Tanya murmured as she took his hand into hers, and fell to her knees as she pressed his hand to her silent heart.

Fred groaned. "Of course I want you. A certain little bird told me I was being a prude...no, wait," he stammered at her look of annoyance. "She was right. While I am kind of old-fashioned, I was really doing it because I was scared. There is so much to lose here, and I can't lose you." He took his hand from her chest, and pulled hers to his lips.

"I want you. I want to see how you react to my touch, how your body will squirm with lust, how you'll whimper, moan and cry out. I want to see how you shatter, how you fall apart and how you become reborn under my hands...I want it all, Tanya." Fred pressed his lips to her knuckles.

Tanya's eyes shimmered with extra venom. Wow. She watched as his eyes darkened, and hissed as his tongue flicked her fingers. She was entranced, unable to move. She had always laughed at how Bella would say that Edward dazzled her, but at this moment, she finally understood.

A slow smile spread across Fred's face. "Well, I can see how you are reacting to my touch...but do you react the same if I touch you elsewhere?"

His hand kept hold of hers, even as his other hand lightly skittered across her collarbone, along her jaw, down her side to the edge of her t-shirt. She sighed softly as she felt his nail slide along the seam, His eyes gleaming as he watched it lay open before him.

Her skin glowed with a near human-like warmth from the light the fireplace was throwing off. If he had a beating heart, it would have skipped a few beats. "Raphael couldn't have painted a more beautiful canvas..."

He smiled as he helped her shirt off. He reached to the side of him, pulling a large feather from the vase that stood next to the fireplace. He twirled it between his fingers as Tanya held her breath. Yes, the feeling of hard, rough objects didn't hurt, but soft, gentle touches...well, their senses were heightened after all, and she knew she would quickly be squirming.

"Tease," she murmured softly, letting her eyes flutter closed as he slowly dragged the tip of the feather across her torso, up to her neck, and down her arms to the tips of her fingers before starting again.

He watched her body twitch and tremble at the gentle touches. His senses filled with the amazing aroma of her growing need. His fingers dropped the long feather, needing to touch her more than tease her. His fingers slid across her jaw, under her chin, lifting her face to catch her darkened eyes. Slowly, slowly, his lips descended to hers. He felt rather than heard her whimper.

His fingers tightened along her cheeks, before sliding into her golden hair.

Lights burst behind his eyes, fireworks and aurora. He groaned into the sweetness of her mouth, as his tongue teased hers into a frenzy. He pulled away carefully, breathing heavily. "I want to make this good for you, babe," he whispered against her lips. Even before he finished, Tanya leaned up and nibbled on his lower lip, pressing her breasts against his hard, silent chest. Her hands slid up his tone arms only to pull on his shoulders, closing the gap between them. Fred groaned again, a deep, needy sound as they fell together.

Firelight flickered and the slight scent of wood-smoke was overcome by the scent of lust in the air, but neither of them noticed. Sweat didn't slick their skin, but still, they slid against each other tortuously, writhing and seeking purchase. Hands seemed to have a mind of their own, grasping and stroking, kneading and clenching.

Breath hotter than you would think a vampire could create gasped steadily from the lovers, soft meaningful phrases, of love, and lust and forever, even as they found each other.

Fred anchored himself in her. Her feel, her scent, her breathy sighs and desperate pleas for release. He was caught in the vortex that just pulled him deeper into her.

For Tanya, it was an epiphany. There was heat here, heat she hadn't felt even with her human prey. It wasn't lust, nor blood that made her skin-her very essence-sing like the feel of Fred's skin on hers, his words in her ear, his heart boldly worn on his metaphorical sleeve.

It was everything each had ever wanted, and neither thought they would ever find or deserve.

And as each of them found the pinnacle of their desire, they realized what it was. Utter, amazing completion.


End file.
